Human beings love story. Our minds delight in the 'gotcha' moments when we tie thought into image through metaphor, simile, and analogy. For me, the only way I can really process information is by putting it into a narrative. It is how I explained Biology and Anatomy to myself in high school, and it has a lot to do with how I process the world around me now, and in the past - as one big story. One of my favorite things about how Jesus taught is that He made lofty ideas tangible, and physical. He is "God who tells stories". And today, He told me one about myself again through watching my husky/lab, Levi.
I travel for work fairly often, and work a 9-5 job. Consequently, Levi spends a lot of time on his own. He has gotten much better about it now, but when I first brought him home, he would cry and cry when I left, as if I were abandoning him for all time, and then would be overjoyed when I returned. While having a happy dog greet you is a great deal of fun, it was hard to watch him go through that experience daily. Once I started traveling, it was even harder to know that he felt abandoned, unable to understand why I was leaving him with my parents for what seemed like an eternity in dog-time. "I'll come back Levi! I always come back," I would soothe him over and over, knowing that he could not understand what was happening or why. Even when it seemed like a long time...even when it was dark...I always come back to make sure he is cared for, safe, and protected. His needs are always going to be met by me. I haven't abandoned him. But he doesn't get to see that, by leaving him daily, I am meeting both of our needs by going to work, or that if I don't go, I wouldn't be able to feed and care for him. He just knows that I am gone, and he does not see me or know where I am. His dog mind cannot fathom the idea of what I am doing, or how currency works, or what it means to have a job. But I am not abandoning him to his own devices - even though he cannot understand it, I am working for his benefit. If he decided that based on the fact I leave him at home that I cared nothing about him, and that I was not going to help him, he might take matter into his own hands (er...paws?). Instead of being patient, he might break out to try to meet his needs himself, roaming the streets. But outside of where I have placed him to wait in our home, he is exposed to the elements. He could be hit by a car. He could eat something that would poison him. He could lose his way, his collar, and his identity, and not know how to get back home. By deciding that I didn't have his best interests at heart, and instead trying to meet his needs himself in his own time, he rejects my protection, simply because he does not understand. But even if he does wander away, not trusting me to provide, I will not abandon him. I will search for him, calling him by name, seeking to bring him back to myself, my shelter, and my provision. I will search for and seek him until he is found because I love him, and want to help him, not harm him. But he can still run away from me. He could hear my call, and decide "She doesn't love me. She just wants to keep me from having fun. She leaves me. She doesn't give me what I want when I want it. So she doesn't love me, and I will not hear her." If he did that, he misses the blessings of being under my care, and is separated from my protection and affection. But if he stays put, holds on, and has faith that I am coming back to him, he sees and enjoys my return, and doesn't have to go through the greater danger and heartache that exists outside my apartment, the place where I have told him to wait.
Levi is also terrified of storms. When the wind picks up, he gets panicky, running around whining, seeming to look for an escape from the storm. What he doesn't realize is that even though the thunder is loud and the wind may rage, he is sheltered. I know that the storm will blow over, and the wind will die down. I know that the apartment will stand, and that we will stay warm and safe and dry. But Levi doesn't know that. No matter how many storms we go through together, he always is worried. He cannot understand what I know to be true. So I call him to my side, and tell him to lay down instead of running around. I am asking him to rest beside me, trusting my knowledge that it will be ok. He cannot stop the storm or influence it, no matter how much he runs or whines or barks or worries. He can choose to continue to work himself into a tizzy, or he can heed my call, and by doing so, rest with me, lay his head on my lap, and go to sleep.
It seems silly that even though I prove myself to be faithful to him over and over, that Levi worries. But I am just the same! No matter how many times God shows himself as provider for me, I always seem to want to take matters into my own hands. I don't respond well to things He is doing that I can't see. I work myself up, wear myself out, and question whether or not he is working on my behalf. I am just like Levi. I can choose to sit, and stay, and trust that the Master will care for me, or I can run from his voice. I can worry about the hard things that happen, railing against how unfair and uncomfortable they make me, pointlessly protesting the circumstance, or I can lay down my fears and rest on Him - trusting that he is in control, and sees the storm, but has already defeated it. And that is a good place to rest.
I travel for work fairly often, and work a 9-5 job. Consequently, Levi spends a lot of time on his own. He has gotten much better about it now, but when I first brought him home, he would cry and cry when I left, as if I were abandoning him for all time, and then would be overjoyed when I returned. While having a happy dog greet you is a great deal of fun, it was hard to watch him go through that experience daily. Once I started traveling, it was even harder to know that he felt abandoned, unable to understand why I was leaving him with my parents for what seemed like an eternity in dog-time. "I'll come back Levi! I always come back," I would soothe him over and over, knowing that he could not understand what was happening or why. Even when it seemed like a long time...even when it was dark...I always come back to make sure he is cared for, safe, and protected. His needs are always going to be met by me. I haven't abandoned him. But he doesn't get to see that, by leaving him daily, I am meeting both of our needs by going to work, or that if I don't go, I wouldn't be able to feed and care for him. He just knows that I am gone, and he does not see me or know where I am. His dog mind cannot fathom the idea of what I am doing, or how currency works, or what it means to have a job. But I am not abandoning him to his own devices - even though he cannot understand it, I am working for his benefit. If he decided that based on the fact I leave him at home that I cared nothing about him, and that I was not going to help him, he might take matter into his own hands (er...paws?). Instead of being patient, he might break out to try to meet his needs himself, roaming the streets. But outside of where I have placed him to wait in our home, he is exposed to the elements. He could be hit by a car. He could eat something that would poison him. He could lose his way, his collar, and his identity, and not know how to get back home. By deciding that I didn't have his best interests at heart, and instead trying to meet his needs himself in his own time, he rejects my protection, simply because he does not understand. But even if he does wander away, not trusting me to provide, I will not abandon him. I will search for him, calling him by name, seeking to bring him back to myself, my shelter, and my provision. I will search for and seek him until he is found because I love him, and want to help him, not harm him. But he can still run away from me. He could hear my call, and decide "She doesn't love me. She just wants to keep me from having fun. She leaves me. She doesn't give me what I want when I want it. So she doesn't love me, and I will not hear her." If he did that, he misses the blessings of being under my care, and is separated from my protection and affection. But if he stays put, holds on, and has faith that I am coming back to him, he sees and enjoys my return, and doesn't have to go through the greater danger and heartache that exists outside my apartment, the place where I have told him to wait.
Levi is also terrified of storms. When the wind picks up, he gets panicky, running around whining, seeming to look for an escape from the storm. What he doesn't realize is that even though the thunder is loud and the wind may rage, he is sheltered. I know that the storm will blow over, and the wind will die down. I know that the apartment will stand, and that we will stay warm and safe and dry. But Levi doesn't know that. No matter how many storms we go through together, he always is worried. He cannot understand what I know to be true. So I call him to my side, and tell him to lay down instead of running around. I am asking him to rest beside me, trusting my knowledge that it will be ok. He cannot stop the storm or influence it, no matter how much he runs or whines or barks or worries. He can choose to continue to work himself into a tizzy, or he can heed my call, and by doing so, rest with me, lay his head on my lap, and go to sleep.
It seems silly that even though I prove myself to be faithful to him over and over, that Levi worries. But I am just the same! No matter how many times God shows himself as provider for me, I always seem to want to take matters into my own hands. I don't respond well to things He is doing that I can't see. I work myself up, wear myself out, and question whether or not he is working on my behalf. I am just like Levi. I can choose to sit, and stay, and trust that the Master will care for me, or I can run from his voice. I can worry about the hard things that happen, railing against how unfair and uncomfortable they make me, pointlessly protesting the circumstance, or I can lay down my fears and rest on Him - trusting that he is in control, and sees the storm, but has already defeated it. And that is a good place to rest.
No comments:
Post a Comment